Searching

searching

Regular ups and downs are different from the Events on your timeline of Life that seemingly decide to stay. They make themselves known. Memories, that you don’t have to really think very hard to be reminded of… they normally BOLD themselves in the memories of your everyday Life. They replay over and over, without missing details. If you were to pause and dwell on them they would bring great detriment.

I often wonder if everyone has these happenings in Life.

I often took pride in not having a “special story.” I often said things like, “my life has been pretty easy, so far. I don’t have an interesting story to tell.”

I guess that can change at any moment… Guess that’s Life.

To remind yourself of your Reality, is to be reminded of your humanity.

To remind yourself of your Reality, is to be reminded of everyone’s humanity.

It often leaves room for Grace.

The convict who found enlightenment can see the positivity in someone else because he knows he found the positivity that was once lost in himself. Once it reflected in himself; someone was able to see the positivity in him and further his fulfillment in Life.

When my thoughts are not clear, it is hard to articulate my words to put them on paper. I often times think in complex sentences or scenarios or metaphors that make it much more difficult to fully convey my feelings.

I often wonder if there are others that think like I do; whos daily pondering leaves them at pause, with simply more questions, stumped, unable to fully communicate their deepest thoughts. Trying so very hard to encompass the feeling in a few simple words. But continually come up Blank.

Is it worried? Is it in content? Is it the courage to dream about the future and what it could be, trying so very very hard to be grateful and happy in the present?…

Is it reflecting over the hardships? Making efforts to be optimistic… understanding that someone’s life could be what you would consider worse than yours, but to them that much more Real.

Is it vain to believe this complex thinking is unique or is it just human?

Life is a delicate concept. The 51-year-old ex-convict, who has come to himself, enlightened on a better route, found love, re-connected with his family, understands his limits, and lives a fulfilled and happy life.

The 39-year-old female whos never gotten below average on anything, works a more than admirable job, hangs with her friends on the weekends, drives her Benz to a paid off condo and sits contemplating what life is and what has it become; constantly deliberating on her true purpose in Life.

I often wonder who’s better off? Who’s happy?

Is being happy and being content one in the same? Do they play hand in hand?

Can one be content in life, but not be happy? What does that feel like? Does it feel like grinding a rope against a stone until it creates a groove? Content in the effort, but unhappy with the results. Is that true happiness?

What are you striving for?

                                                                                  ……………………Searching.

-Lundon Sweetney
AnomalousLady

 

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